Dear fellow cyclists,
Some recent list discussions have become a bit emotional, and I want to offer a gentle reminder to choose your words carefully when publishing them in this shared forum. The continued health of this list and our cyber-community depend on mutual respect and politeness (and even kindness). As a writer and editor, I am going to get on my soapbox. (Delete now to avoid sermon :-).
Here are some suggestions I've learned (mostly the hard way):
We humans are delicate. Be kind to each other, just like you would be careful with an old and tiny alloy bolt.
Accusations and personal attacks cannot be taken back once they appear, and a nasty word in an email will last as long as words in print. If you are upset at someone on the list , write the reply but do not send it: save it overnight and look at it again. Edit out inflammatory language before you send it--even if you have been "justly" provoked. ("Blessed are the peacemakers," it says in a Very Good Book I read once. :-)
State the issues in factual and neutral terms. Attributing emotions or motives to others does not help solve problems like how to shellac bar tape, whether a DeRosa is genuine, or why an event was cancelled. (It's OK to express your own feelings when you take responsibility for and "own" them, but not OK to blame others for how you feel.)
Successful communication is much more likely when you have more information available--rather like trying to assemble a complete bike with all of the necessary parts available instead of one-fifth of a parts group. Written text--on a computer screen or on paper--gives the reader only 10% - 20% of the information that a phone call or in- person discussion does, since facial expressions and tone of voice are missing entirely. Never underestimate the ease with which your words can be misunderstood by your reader.
If you have a misunderstanding or a dispute with another list member, pick up the phone and/or or continue the resolution process off-list. Don't spend any more time than necessary being upset with your fellow cyclists. (We CR types are a minority, and we need all the friends we can get...:-)
End of sermon.
Yours for better communication,
Jon Spangler
in sunny Alameda, California USA