Some other tried and true methods:
1. The Lamp:
Best for parts, up to the size of a fork. Put a base, a cord and a shade on that bike part, and tell the wife: "Look Honey, a new lamp!" She will gag and say "Not in my living room! Get that thing into the basement and out of my sight"
2. Box o parts:
Dissasemble bike and dump into a box. Tell wife you picked up some odds and ends at the local swap meet. The more suspicious the wife, the more the bike will have to be dissasembled. PS: Does anyone know how to reinstall the springs in a Mavic Erector set rear derailleur?
3. Bike in a cake:
Tell wife you picked up the big sheet cake for the guest of honor at the local bike club dinner. "How clever! A cake shaped like a bike!" Works better with small frames.
4. The Loan:
Have your friend come to the front door and give you the new bike, saying "I'm just returning the bike you lent me." Caution: choose trustworthy friends or one who at least doesn't ride your size bike. I tried this with someone my size in May and didn't get the bike till December with the tires wore out.
Tom Adams
Manhattan, KS
From: Jon M. Crate <Jon@FAI.US> Subject: Re: [CR] True Appreciation of the real ... To: "'Bob Hillery'" <rhillery@hawksi.org>, classicrendezvous@bikelist.org Date: Thursday, January 28, 2010, 11:25 AM
"Bob Hillery carefully smuggling parts & frames to my basement in Stratham, New Hampshire, USA"
Now I know I'm not alone!
Have you ever: 1. requested the package NOT say anything about bikes on it 2. had a frame sent to a trusted friends house 3. kept a watchful eye for the delivery personnel 4. used rationalizations about investments and value (to no effect) 5. lied by telling her you can probably make some money at it
Jon M. Crate Marietta, Georgia
-----Original Message----- From: classicrendezvous-bounces@bikelist.org [mailto:classicrendezvous-bounces@bikelist.org] On Behalf Of Bob Hillery Sent: Thursday, January 28, 2010 1:12 AM To: classicrendezvous@bikelist.org Subject: Re: [CR] True Appreciation of the real ...
... or not.
Jon, Tom, et al. - Like the man said, I feel your pain.
Last summer when I finished the rebuild of a PX-10, I was proudly finishing the last hand rubbing of the frame with a Meguiar's polishing wax. The wife stepped into the garage, so I crowed, "Whaddaya think, really nice, eh?" Said she, "But you already have one," pointing to my trusty UO-8. Horrified, I intoned, " Oh, no. That's an OU-8 in cadre allege for touring, but THIS is a Reynolds 531 PX-10 racer ..." Sensing, from the granite face before me (hey, this is New Hampshire), my voice trailed ... and I stopped.
Somehow, without moving a single facial muscle, she said, "They're both white."
Waaaay to cold in that garage for July, it was.
And to our colleague who succinctly suggested "dump her" to Tom, any of the several arguments (pro or con) aside, you've obviously never priced out a divorce.
(sigh) So my next bike acquisition was a Falcon - bright red. And I haven't dared build the white Carlton yet. Just don't feel like tempting the Fates with another WHITE bike.
Bob Hillery carefully smuggling parts & frames to my basement in Stratham, New Hampshire, USA